I hate myself sometimes

I've been in Canada for 3 years and half. And it's been more than 3 years since I started writing my blog at MSN Space. That blog tided me over the loneliness. It never matters how many people you are surrounded or how many social life you have in a week. When party is finished, and people all gone, the hollow inside and the dark outside just slowly eats me up.

It's a paradox for me actually. I enjoy being alone while I'm longing to be gregarious. I constantly need some space while I'm badly admiring friends who hang around together all the time and openly share their deepest dirty stuff. I'm self-contradiction. For hell sure!